5 Ways to Improve the Soundtrack to Watchmen

I loved Watchmen. The movie was the most faithful adaptation of anything I've ever seen, which hopefully will shut up the majority of people who have been complaining about accuracy in a movie they hadn't even seen yet. (Yes, that includes Alan Moore.) The biggest problem I had with the film was its soundtrack. The only song that really seemed to fit perfectly was "The Times They Are A-Changin'" during the opening. Other than that, most of the soundtrack was out of place and distracting. So I give you five ways I would improve it.

1. Get rid of "99 Luft Balloons". Never in my life have I heard people in a theater laugh at a song choice for a movie until that scene at the restaurant where that stupid song plays. Worst song choice ever.

2. Swap "The Sound of Silence" with something that doesn't have vocals. Dramatic scenes like that don't need Paul Simon singing about something completely irrelevant to what's going on. My suggestion: "Moonlight Sonata in C Sharp minor" by Beethoven.

Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"

3. I know "Hallelujah" is Leonard Cohen's song, but if you're going to put a version of that song over a ridiculously drawn-out sex scene, at lease make it John Cale's version. Leonard Cohen sounds too much like Barry White to me to be taken seriously during a sex scene. Also, the graphic novel ends with a quote from John Cale's "Sanities", so I think that would have fit better for a lot of reasons. Also also, The Velvet Underground is awesome.

Hallelujah - John Cale

4. Having My Chemical Romance cover a Bob Dylan song is like asking a ninth grade art stufent to repaint Starry Night. I honestly have no idea what they were thinking. They could have gotten anybody to cover "Desolation Row" and they picked a band that quite possibly has the least talent of any band currently recording. (Then again, Limp Bizkit recently said they were back together, so I might have to retract that statement if they ever produce a new album...) As for other songs that could have kicked off the end credits, I would have gone with something much darker, like The Smashing Pumpkins' "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning", which fit perfectly into the Watchmen previews.

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning - The Smashing Pumpkins

5. Switch Hendrix's version of "All Along the Watchtower" for Dylan's original version. Both versions are great, but Bob Dylan's version is much calmer and would be far less obtrusive. Jimi Hendrix's wailing guitar really got in the way of the mood as Rorschach and Nite Owl were getting out of their ship in Antarctica.

All Along the Watchtower - Bob Dylan